Saturday, February 17, 2007

How Do You Feel? >>> What Do You See?

I've been on a path of treatment for chronic depression for the last six months. This blog is a clear therapeutic aid for me.

To focus on what's Important, to clear my Vision, to reach out for Understanding and Share what I find...

God created us to Relate!

Some would, undoubtedly, say that the Internet isn't the place to do it. Actually, finding friends in cyberspace and maintaining those friendships is , to me, like what folks call "talking to angels".

All the normal cues for a physical relationship are removed. It's down to mostly words and the meaning they can carry. I'm certainly aware of all the techno-aids that are trying to mimic real-space interaction and the only one I use is provocative pictures--I'm not trying to cheat myself and pretend I'm in the same physical space when I'm not; I want to feel like I'm talking to Angels...

I chose that picture of roses because of my cyber-friend, Alexys Fairfield. I purposely defocused most of the picture to hint at something she wrote about the other day: Eyes In The Sky.

In that blog post, she said:

"I've always felt that there were eyes watching me. Eyes that need no invitation. Eyes that emanate warmth and kindness. Eyes that remind me of my past. Eyes that guide me to my future. Eyes that said nothing, but said it all. Eyes of resplendent glory and faith. Eyes of the invisible that became very clear.

"I do know that we are more susceptible to blind spots when we are overburdened. We can decrease our blind spots by becoming more aware of their existence. By becoming aware of "another set of eyes." They have always been there. Just ask your inner spirit to show you your blind spots. To define your vision. You may be surprised at what you find.

"When we do things that keep us from achieving the best we can achieve, we are blinded by the light. When there is a cohesion of our action and spirit, we are guided by the light.

"So on your journey to your ultimate self, don't forget to pack your extra set of eyes to help you through the murkiness. You are not alone. The eyes in the sky are upon you. Now and always."

Alexys always gives me a spark of Inspiration, a nudge toward clearer Vision.

I have another Friend, my most trustworthy human Angel, a man who spent 40 years in prison for His beliefs and left this physical realm in 1921. On the topic of Vision and what brings Joy or Pain He said:

In this world we are influenced by two sentiments, Joy and Pain. Joy gives us wings! In times of joy our strength is more vital, our intellect keener, and our understanding less clouded. We seem better able to cope with the world and to find our sphere of usefulness. But when sadness visits us we become weak, our strength leaves us, our comprehension is dim and our intelligence veiled. The actualities of life seem to elude our grasp, the eyes of our spirits fail to discover the sacred mysteries, and we become even as dead beings. There is no human being untouched by these two influences; but all the sorrow and the grief that exist come from the world of matter--the spiritual world bestows only the joy! If we suffer it is the outcome of material things, and all the trials and troubles come from this world of illusion.”

4 comments:

Alexys Fairfield said...

Even in tangible relationships, the real nitty gritty is what we have captured through cyberspace -- the same magic that is evident in any relationship.

Although we are sort of an invisible force, I can still see your Soul -- and it is a phenomenal work of art, love and grace. You are doing a masterful job in your recovery.

I always feel as if I am talking to angels and you're one of my favorites.

I love the choice and technique of your photo. Beautiful image.

Thanks for the mention too. It is very heart-felt.

Alexander M said...

Cyber-...

Silicon chips...

Sand...

Shore...

Ocean...

Love...

Puzzled Woeman said...

I also suffer from depression, and have for more than two years. My mental dis-ease started ages ago, in high school as far as I can remember, but I wasn't diagnosed until I finished college. I didn't want to deal with anything that wasn't schoolwork. My education was the only thing I had time to focus on. So finally, my father took me to the doctor and he diagnosed me as having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He recommended me to a psychiatrist. I've been dealing with her since 2002. Over time, I went from having just OCD to also having depression, though at one time they mistakenly diagnosed me as bipolar. They have since corrected that to just chronic depression.

OK, now that I have taken up so much space talking about that, I want to talk about how it relates to your post. I have also used the internet as therapy. Having said that, I also want to declare that sometimes it hasn't been the most healthy choice for me, but it was the only option available to me, as I'm not one to socialize much in real life. I took-up blogging as a means of venting all those emotions I've had pent-up inside of me that I had no one else to talk to about, except for my husband, of course. But, even though we love each other, we are not exactly interested in the same things. So, I had to converse with people online, but people with whom I had things in common.

I am someone who lived the social life. I have cycled through periods of being a hermit and being a party animal. I think I am now at the stage of my life - at age 28 - of being a hermit. I will probably stay this way. It's just more comfortable for me. So, to me, cyber friendships are perfectly normal.

Alexander M said...

Thank you for taking the time to leave such a "complete" comment!
I'm serious.
Folks seem to think that just because it's Cyber it has to be short...

At my age, 60, I think I can safely give a bit of advice:
Even though you've indicated your depression is a Great Challenge, don't get too locked-in to thinking you'll not change or grow beyond it...

~ Alex