Our Second E-mail Reporter Talks About Depression

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Depression can be a killer at worst and a bummer at the very least. It's also rampant in the world.

We recently had a post concerning that called, World-Wide Depression.

A woman named Dar left a comment to that post then said it could be used as its own post. I'm glad she decided to share it because she relates valuable information about depression; and, we need all the information we can get because depression is a most potent Spiritual Killer. Even if you don't suffer from it, I can bet someone you know does...

Dar not only decided to share about depression, she also agreed to be our Second E-Mail Reporter !

Just before her first report I want to give you two links:

* A Depression Screening Site

* A Depression Forum Site

Now, here's Dar:

"Below is an e-mail that I wrote to my family and friends back in November.

"My story is basically an attempt to relate to you the 'awakening' that has happened to me very recently. It's my way, I guess, of trying to share the incredible journey that I have just taken, and continue to take.
I have always considered myself to be a self-confident, competent woman. But for as long as I can remember I have harbored a feeling of emptiness, like something was missing somehow...I assumed that something was the 'right' relationship, more money etc...I have come to believe that this is the predominant human condition. Time went on, I set various goals and excelled at things that I set my sights on. I was constantly being told that I would make an excellent nurse. I even enrolled in school in Denver, but didn't see it through. I was dragging my feet because, I thought, that I wasn't supposed to be a nurse and if not that, then what?? I knew I had other passions but my whole work experience was nursing-my technical skills were top notch, so what was my problem???

"In 2003 I began to feel a pull to Maine. No idea why-never been to Maine, actually never been east of Ohio, but there has always been a 'fondness' for New England..it seemed like 'home' to me somehow....So after a 10 day vacation to Maine in the summer of 2003, I started planing. June of 2004 found me on a plane with my cat, headed for a new life.

"After arriving here my fall was immediate and complete. Everything that I had defined myself by was gone. I couldn't start IV's, drop NG tubes, hell I couldn't even put on oxygen here, people actually doubted I had the skills! All the nursing skills that I was so highly valued for in Denver meant nothing out here. Somehow that translated to 'I am nothing'. I sank into a dark , deep pit of depression, mentally flogging myself for every past error, every misstep in judgement, my intellect 'knew' things, but my soul was a void. I don't believe in taking meds for depression. It took me almost 2 years to pull myself out of that pit, but what I learned about myself were lessons that made it worthwhile.

"Finally I was able to let go--to forgive myself completely for every thing that I had spent so much energy beating myself up for. I learned the power of self-love and I realized that I never actually thought I COULD be a nurse. It was always some far-off dream...I carried with me, every day of my life, crippling self-doubt and damaging internal dialogue that I was never even aware of. All my life, I realized, I searched for something, some place or someone to fill that emptiness in myself. And I always thought that I was honest with myself, and I was, to the best of my knowledge at that time. But our minds are clever jailers, and keep us in self-imposed bondage until we are finally able to rise above it.

"Winston Churchill said 'If you are going through hell, keep going'. As I look back on my former self, I am surprised in a way. My old self would ridicule the waste of so many years being always afraid. Now I am so grateful that I have so much time left! The timing was perfect, it happened when I was ready for it. There are many examples of miraculous things happening as a result of emotional trauma. I would say this has been my miracle.

"I am no longer plagued with self-doubt! The power of that is unbelievable! I don't bemoan the past or live only for some future..'Ill be happy when......'

"I've known these truths always...intellectually. It took this experience for these things to blossom fully and for me to truly see clearly-finally and once and for all. This is not an 'attitude'...it's a knowing....an absolute clarity of what is...and who I am!!

"What I have learned through this experience is simple, yet it isn't something that can be realized intellectually. I identified my self with what I did--all external things. When those external things were gone, so was 'I'....now if I were asked to 'define' myself, I would speak of internal things, things that are the essence of who I am.

"I no longer dwell in the past or worry about the future. I enjoy each step that I take today, and as a result I see things and appreciate things on a much deeper level.

"Our minds are so active, running our lives that we have little room for our spirits to do the guiding. 'Meditation' is one path to that, but those voices are so hard to silence. A simple exercise-Close your eyes and think to yourself 'I wonder what my next thought will be'. While you are waiting for that next thought, it's the absence of thought that is the peace--the quiet that we seek!! Pretty damn cool!!! And practice makes those silences ever longer.

"There have been many spiritual teachers, Buddha, Jesus, various Zen masters who have tried to convey basic truths about conscientiousness. But we 'think' and 'reason' the lessons away, instead of developing our spirits to know what is already inside us.

"Wow, well I'm sure this sounds very 'new age-y', but it is what it is, whatever label is applied. As I have said, these things are not new--none of this is new information. I was just never able to 'depose the dictator' that was my egoic mind.

"Anyway, I also wanted to tell those of you who wrote me letters of recommendation that during my darkest days, those letters were my lifeline to any feelings of self worth, and I am ever grateful. I still cherish them, but for entirely different reasons.

"I hope this isn't too vague, as I read this over I realize that I fall very short of what I wish to express, like a painter who is so moved by the sunset but the final painting does not convey the emotion that he felt while viewing it. But I hope this is adequate, just the same!

Sincerely,
Dar

Doomsday Revisited

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Back in the dim, dark past of this blog ( Jan. 18th in non-cyber-time), I had a post called Doomsday.
My cyber-friend (real friend not met in person), Jeanne, took up a challenge and asked some people what they thought about the ideas I'd expressed (check out the extensive comments with that post...).

Yesterday, she surprised me again and won herself the bestowal of the title Honorary E-Mail Reporter!

She sent the following (which I reproduce exactly as I received it...):

"This is a comment I got from a friend...

"The end of the world as we know it could be anytime considering the "as we know it" part. Think of the fact of how strange or foreign our everyday world would be to a person who traveled through time from the 1500's and saw what we have in the year 2007. Our radios, phones, and cars, not to mention other modern inventions would be mind baffling to a person of the 16th century.

"Now, let's think of 50 or even 100 years in the future. Modern science and advances will have leaped again. Who knows what we will possibly see in our lifetimes or what will become of our world after we are gone. But I can tell you this... The world of the future will probably be nothing like it is today. We live in the world 'as we know it', but that world is ever changing so one day it might be the end of the world as WE know it, but it will be the world as our great great great great grandchildren know it.

"Speaking about the 'end of the world' is a whole statement in itself. Religiously, I'm not sure if I know enough to answer this question. Spiritually, I think a person is screwed if they have not found God and it's the end of the world. You do want your golden ticket into heaven when it all goes down. There's that movie and book that focuses in on the worshipers of God being taken to heaven and spared of all harm or evil when the end comes. Personally, I don't think that will happen, but I do think that I want to be on God's good side and be one of his followers when the 'end' comes. I want to know that when I die I can go to heaven and face it... If a large asteroid comes hurling at the Earth and wipes out all life on Earth, we will all die. I think it's good to know you will be with all your loved ones in heaven with God.

"Also, I have heard some religious people push that the end of the world has to do with religious stuff. I am not so sure about that. God is all powerful. He can control a lot. But he can't control us from blowing each other up in a nuclear war. He puts so much faith in mankind, but it's mankind that I sometimes don't trust. Will we kill ourselves in the end and be our own doom?

"There are so many science fiction and horror movies and books focused on the 'end of the world.' I do believe that the images and ideals sometimes portrayed in our movies and books are sometimes a reflection of our own fears. Who knows, the end of the world may come out of an alien attack or a final world war or our destruction of the ozone layer or radiation exposure, pollution, or an asteroid destroying Earth, or melting of polar ice caps. Heck, I don't know... The 'end' may come from a natural event, our own undoing, or something unimaginable like contact with an alien race. I do believe if the end comes, it will have to be be because something happened that made it come. It won't just come. Did Y2K kill us all? No, but some things in life can happen. It would have to be something so powerful that it kills us all or kills many leaving survival near to impossible for the living. For instance, I would be screwed if we were suddenly stripped of modern electricity and put back into a time
of no outlets because I take medicine from a machine that plugs into a wall. In the 'end', it may become survival of the fittest or maybe... we'll just be all wiped out at once. But something will have to happen to cause the 'end' to come.

"Or maybe the end will never come and humans will continue to advance with our world changing with us. No one knows and time can only tell, but the end of the world will be a debate till the world does end. As it's ending, people will probably be discussing this question and debating it's answer.

"It kind of reminds me of that song, 'It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.'

"My question is what would you be doing if you knew that the end was coming?

"What would you want to be doing if you knew it would come and you could die?

"What would you want to be doing that last few minutes before the 'end?'

"That's my food for thought. You don't have to answer. Just curious...."


"...and here is her husband's comment:

"our world can end in a multitude of ways...it depends on what you mean by world...world as in our earth...earth will be here a long time, until of course the sun goes to red giant and sometime years after that nova...our world as in reality...it could be infinite because our new reality would be heaven if we die and heaven is infinite...while this reality here is finite in space and time..."

"Be The Change..."

"Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace, to be real, must be unaffected by outside circumstances."

Mohandas Gandhi

I'm sure you can see the connection between the quote from Gandhi and the picture of the children...

Three posts ago, our E-Mail Reporter, Sandy, had some provocative questions about "starving" children. Those kids over there sure aren't starving; at least not physically (and their spirits look pretty bright...)

The post just before this one concerned our Vision and how it shapes our action.

Here's Sandy once more with her take on that post:

Alex,
This, what you say here, is to me, an extremely important thing to be said!!! I think it's also one reason why Abdu'l-Baha exhorts us to BE HAPPY!! BE HAPPY!!! I mean, not to be of such good cheer and so giddy that all good sense goes out the window, but to be on a level of happiness, because of detachment from this material world, that our wings don't become helplessly and hopelessly stuck in the mess on the ground! God's guidance has always been here with us and always will be. The quote below that came in yesterday on quote-a-day says it perfectly, I think.
~ Sandy

"It behooveth him who is a wayfarer in the path of God and a wanderer in
His way to detach himself from all who are in the heavens and on the earth.
He must renounce all save God, that perchance the portals of mercy may be
unlocked before his face and the breezes of providence may waft over him.
And when he hath inscribed upon his soul that which We have vouchsafed unto
him of the quintessence of inner meaning and explanation, he will fathom all
the secrets of these allusions, and God shall bestow upon his heart a divine
tranquillity and cause him to be of them that are at peace with themselves."

Baha'u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries--Javahiru'l-Asrar, pp. 25-26, para 33

"...be of them that are at peace with themselves."

Starting with this post, I'm going to veer in the direction of Spiritual Commentary on Global Events; and, I certainly pray you'll help me out...

The posts recently have dealt with our personal spiritual perspective, which is crucial for any attainment in the global arena!

So...

I'll begin by pointing to GlobalVoices once again: the site that pulls together blogs from all over the world (sort of a global perspective on many individuals' spiritual quests). If you scroll down the sidebar aways, you'll see the B.I.D.E. Global Blog Feed. It's from GlobalVoices.

Next, I want to bring your attention to a global "news" site that stresses reporting on the areas of maximum activity that aim at making our World a better place to live on: getting it back to a self-sustaining state (which includes a whole lot of inner spiritual strength...). The site is called OneWorld. This site is extremely dense with ripe information!

Yes! Magazine is the publication of Positive Futures Network: "an independent, nonprofit organization supporting people’s active engagement in creating a just, sustainable, and compassionate world." Here we have the awareness of personal tools we need in our global striving.

Next is OneCountry, a publication that stresses the deeper spiritual weapons we need to Wage Peace!

Finally, I present WorldPress.Org, the most "HardNews" site of the bunch. And, right here is where I need Your help...

Just below is a string of recent articles from WorldPress. I want to bring some Spiritual Commentary to one of those articles.

Will You Help?

Leave a comment (or, e-mail me: amzolt {at} gmail {dot} com) with your pick, O.K.?

In the Spotlight

'Shia Democracy': Myth or Reality? (Part I) Shiism is another Islam, with its own identity and at least 200 million worldwide adherents. Perhaps the concept of "Shia democracy" holds a ray of hope for furthering democracy in the Muslim world. By Sreeram Chaulia.

Chile Surpasses One Million Broadband Connections Leading Latin America in Internet access and use, Chile also boasts the highest broadband penetration rate and is beginning to emerge as a regional leader in information technology. By Nathan Crooks.

Congo: Prisoners Endure Appalling Conditions As they dug a grave for one of their fellow inmates, detainees in Bunia Central Prison decided to use the occasion to protest against appalling conditions in the jail. From IRIN.

Paris Journal: Hype Happens Unlike hell, the Jeu de Paume contemporary art museum is not paved with good intentions. But it is hung with them at the moment. By Brent Gregston.

Congo: Rights Groups Call for Marie Therese Nlandu's Release Nlandu was arrested on Nov. 21, three weeks before President Kabila's inauguration, when she went to Kin-Maziere Police Station to visit and bring food to six of her associates. By Ambrose Musiyiwa.

NATO: Quo Vadis? Recently as part of the on going "war on terror," however, NATO has been active well beyond its traditional area of operations—in Afghanistan, the horn of Africa, and Lebanon. By Michael Werbowski.

Return of Somalia's Warlords The Islamic regime, which had progressively taken control of much of Somalia, was overthrown in December by an Ethiopian invasion force backed—financially and militarily—by the United States. From Green Left Weekly.

North Korea Offers to Halt Nuclear Program Senior North Korean negotiators have expressed Pyongyang's willingness to reach an agreement in return for economic and financial concessions. By Rich Bowden.

All Comments Welcome !

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This is still a toddler-blog, born Jan. 8th and growing up fast!

One of the best features of blogs is the Comments Section.

If you've never checked it out, below each post is a link (in orange on this blog) like this: 2 Comments. Clicking on it lets you leave a Comment! These Comments are the "Food" that a Blog needs to "Grow"...

The B.I.D.E. Blog has (so far) one E-mail Reporter who graces us with commentary that always ends up here in a Post. From time to time, to facilitate closer bonds between us, I'll bring interesting Comments into a Post.

It's not on the front page now (there's also an orange link at the bottom of all the posts that says "Older Posts" and leads to, uuunh, older posts...) but the post Doomsday (exploring the concept of the "End of the World") has some fascinating comments. Fascinating enough for me to reproduce some of them here:

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Snuffy1979 said...

Maybe I'm just too young but I like to think that the end is a long way off. Partly because I'm not spiritually where I need to be and partly because I want to think that Mary-Alice will have a long and happy life ahead of her.

I do believe that we are going through some hard times right now but haven't people been saying the end is near for like ever. I mean the year I graduated from High School was supposed to be the year the world ended because it was the number of the beast times 3(where ever that came from). Well we are still here and there isn't a person running around claiming to be the new messiah that I know of anyway.

I also know that the temple has to be rebuilt before the end times come and it hasn't been rebuilt yet. I know they are talking about it but there are more signs then just anarchy that signify the end times. I'm just not seeing them yet. I also haven't heard of lots of people just up and disappearing across the planet. Wouldn't that be a big sign that no-one could ignore?

January 23, 2007 5:20 PM

Alexander M said...

snuffy,

Can't thank you enough for your lengthy and informative comment!

I have a challenge for you:
(if you're still on a college campus at times during the day)
Conduct a few interviews with folk about how they think the "world will end" and when they believe it will...
That's your Mission should you accept it...

~ Alex

January 23, 2007 7:06 PM

Alexander M said...

snuffy!

Forgot to say that part of that Mission is to report back to us here at the Blog...

~ Alex

January 23, 2007 7:08 PM

Snuffy1979 said...

I talked to a few people.

Some comments were:
My opinion changes with my mood. I'll deal with it when it happens.

Hadn't really thought about it.

People need to read Revelation and not just subscribe to the standard interpretation on the text.

January 31, 2007 4:01 PM

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About all I can add to that exchange right now is that the book of Revelation in the Christian Bible is one of the most familiar texts (to Christians). Other Faiths have Their own.

Anyone care to share (in the Comments) what their Faith says about the "End of the World" or the "End Times"?